Lovesickness is a strong feeling that many people experience in their lives, which can affect both the body and mind. It makes it hard to focus on anything other than the person you love. Whether you're going through a breakup, dealing with unrequited love, or are very attached to someone who doesn't feel the same, lovesickness is more than just feeling sad; it can be really tough to deal with, it also maybe in the starting stage of love when you are too much involve with someone and do not like to do anything other than being with that person.
I remember how hard it was for my friend Sarah when she went through this. She had fallen deeply in love with someone she thought was her true love. At first, he made her feel special, and he was kind and caring. But over time, she realized that her feelings were stronger than his. He saw their relationship as something temporary, while she dreamed of a future with him. After they broke up, she was so sad that she couldn't eat, sleep, or focus on anything except the loss of him. She was completely heartbroken.
It took her months to heal, but with time and effort, she was able to feel like herself again. Her experience shows both the pain of lovesickness and the hope of getting through it.
Lovesickness is a strong feeling that many people experience in their lives, which can affect both the body and mind.
Symptoms of Lovesickness
Lovesickness is a real emotional state caused by strong romantic feelings, especially when those feelings are complicated or not returned, even though it's not considered a medical illness. It can show up in different ways. Infatuation or obsession happens when the person you desire takes up all your thoughts. Unrequited love is the heartache of wanting someone who doesn't return your feelings. Heartbreak is the intense pain you feel after a breakup or rejection, or sometimes a lack of attention from your partner. Separation anxiety is the deep sadness and loneliness you feel when you're away from someone you love. Sarah experienced almost all of these. After her breakup, she couldn’t stop thinking about the moments they shared, analyzing every word he said, and wondering if she had made a mistake. Even though she knew she wouldn’t hear from him, she would keep checking her phone, hoping for a message. She couldn’t focus on anything else because she was consumed by what had happened and what could have been. Whenever I was with her and we talked about her past, she always tried, and she could not control her tears.
What is Lovesickness Called?
Lovesickness is often called "limerence" or "romantic obsession." It is when you can’t stop thinking about someone, and it brings mood swings, anxiety, trouble sleeping, and loss of appetite. It’s a kind of overwhelming love for someone or an addiction to someone. Love can be like an addiction in many ways, and in some cases, lovesickness can feel like drug withdrawal. When you fall in love, your brain releases chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and adrenaline, which make you feel happy and close to the person. But when that bond is broken, the loss of those chemicals can cause emotional pain, like going through withdrawal from a drug.
Sarah felt like she was going through withdrawal. She knew that texting him would only make her feel worse, but she told me the urge to contact him was too strong. She convinced herself that everything would be better if she could just hear from him. But every time she reached out and got a cold or uninterested response, her sadness grew. It took her a while to realize that what she was feeling wasn’t just sadness—it was her brain reacting to the emotional loss.
Why Do We Feel Lovesick?
Lovesickness has strong biological roots. When we fall in love, our brains release dopamine and other feel-good chemicals that make love feel exciting, happy, and even addicting. But when that love is not returned or suddenly disappears, these chemicals quickly decline in the brain, causing emotional sadness. Studies show that heartbreak can feel so intense because emotional rejection activates the same areas of the brain that are triggered by physical pain.
Sarah described her sadness as feeling like a "physical ache." She would hold her chest to try to ease the pain. Even small things, like passing a place they had been together or hearing a song they had listened to, felt like emotional triggers. This is known as "emotional conditioning," where certain places, sounds, or even smells remind us of the person we loved, making the feelings stronger. Sarah didn’t know how to stop feeling this way, but she wanted to. She eventually realized that healing wasn’t about waiting for the feelings to fade; it required actively working through them. Psychologists believe that actively facing and expressing emotions, instead of avoiding them, can help the brain rewire itself and heal faster.
Can Lovesickness Be Dangerous?
Lovesickness can be dangerous for some people if the emotions become overwhelming and difficult to manage. While it's normal to feel sad or hurt after a breakup or unrequited love, the intense feelings of lovesickness can sometimes affect your mental and physical health.
When someone is heartbroken, they may feel constant anxiety, sadness, and even hopelessness. This can lead to problems like insomnia (trouble sleeping), loss of appetite, and difficulty concentrating on everyday tasks. In extreme cases, it can cause people to withdraw from friends and family, which can increase feelings of isolation and loneliness.
One of the dangers of lovesickness is that it can trigger depression. The constant emotional pain, especially if the love is unreturned, can lead to a negative spiral of thoughts. People may start feeling worthless or believe that they'll never find happiness again. This can make it harder to move on and heal, as Sarah was always saying I can't live without him, I don't want to live my life. I am done with this life.
Lovesickness can also affect physical health. Stress caused by emotional pain can weaken the immune system, making the body more vulnerable to illness. Very heartbroken people might even experience physical symptoms like chest pain or stomach issues. This is because the body and mind are closely connected, and emotional pain can sometimes feel like physical pain.
In serious cases, lovesickness can even lead to suicidal thoughts, especially if someone feels hopeless and believes they cannot cope with their emotions. That's why it's important to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional if you’re struggling with overwhelming emotions. Healing takes time, but with the right help and coping strategies, people can recover and move forward.
How to Overcome Lovesickness
Overcoming lovesickness can be tough, but with time and effort, it’s possible to heal and feel better. The first step in overcoming lovesickness is to accept that what you're feeling is real. It’s okay to feel hurt, sad, or confused after a breakup or unrequited love. Recognizing your emotions and permitting yourself to feel them can actually help you heal faster. Trying to ignore or push away your feelings might make them stronger. It's important to allow yourself to grieve. Sarah, for example, went through this process after her breakup. She initially found it hard to accept her feelings, believing that the pain would somehow go away on its own. However, she realized that the more she tried to ignore her heartbreak, the more it consumed her. Only when she allowed herself to feel her sadness did she start to heal.
Talking to someone you trust can also make a big difference. Whether it's a friend, family member, or a therapist, sharing your feelings can help release some of the emotional pressure. Sometimes, just saying what’s on your mind can give you a sense of relief. They might also offer advice or simply listen, which can be comforting. Sarah often confided in me about her experience, explaining how each day felt like a battle. I would listen to her without judgment, offering comfort and understanding. Talking things out helped Sarah begin to process her emotions, which is something that can really help when you're going through lovesickness.
When you're feeling lovesick, it's easy to get stuck in your head, constantly thinking about the person or what went wrong. This can make it harder to heal. One way to cope is by finding distractions. Start by doing activities that you enjoy or that make you feel good, such as reading, painting, going for walks, or listening to music. Keeping yourself busy with positive things can give you a break from the constant thoughts about love. For Sarah, taking walks in the park and reading books she loved were some of the small steps she took to keep her mind from constantly racing. These activities allowed her to relax and momentarily take her mind off the painful thoughts.
Taking care of yourself is especially important when you're dealing with emotional pain. Make sure you're eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising. Physical activity, like walking, yoga, or dancing, helps release endorphins—chemicals that make you feel happy. Taking care of your body can improve your mood and help you feel stronger. Sarah made sure she ate healthy meals and tried to get at least a few hours of rest each night, although sleeping was difficult at first. Eventually, as she incorporated regular walks and stretching into her routine, she began to feel stronger both mentally and physically.
Another important step is to let go of unhealthy reminders. If you keep looking at photos, messages, or gifts from the person, it may make the healing process harder. Putting away or getting rid of these reminders can help you begin to let go and move forward. Sarah had to take the tough step of deleting old messages and putting away the gifts that reminded her of him. While it was painful at first, she realized she needed to heal and move on.
Lastly, give yourself time. Healing from lovesickness doesn’t happen overnight, and it’s okay to take it slow. The pain may feel overwhelming at first, but with time, it will become easier. Sarah learned this the hard way. After months of emotional struggle, she began to notice that the pain wasn’t as sharp as it once was. She gave herself time to heal and slowly started to look forward to new opportunities in her life. It’s important to be patient with yourself and trust that things will get better. You may not feel like it now, but eventually, you will heal, and you’ll be ready to move on to a healthier, happier chapter in your life, just like Sarah did.
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