From Shattered to Strong: My Journey of Reclaiming Self-Worth

There was a time when I used to laugh without thinking. I used to enjoy little things—like the smell of tea in the morning, or watching the sky change colors at sunset. But slowly, I stopped noticing those things. I stopped laughing. I stopped living.

I didn’t even realize when I lost myself. It was like I was standing in a crowded room, screaming, and no one could hear me, not even the person I had married. It’s hard to explain that kind of pain to anyone. But if you’ve ever loved someone so deeply that you forgot to love yourself, then maybe you’ll understand. This blog is not just my story—it’s a reminder that no matter how far you fall, you can always rise again.

The Quiet Kind of Pain

Abuse doesn’t always start with loud voices or raised hands. Sometimes, it starts with silence. With cold shoulders. With a partner who stops asking how your day was. With someone who slowly turns your life into a routine of fear, doubt, and emotional begging.

That’s what happened to me.

It started small—being ignored, being blamed for everything, being told I was too emotional, too sensitive. I was made to feel like I was always the problem. At first, I thought it was just a phase. Then I blamed myself. And after that... I just went numb.

People often ask, “Why didn’t you leave?” But the truth is, you don’t even realize you’re in a cage when the bars are made of guilt and emotional confusion. I thought if I loved him more, he would change. I thought if I stayed quiet, he would stop. I was wrong.

Losing Myself Completely

I became a stranger to myself. I stopped dressing up. I stopped talking to friends. I stopped dreaming. I didn’t care how I looked or felt. I was just trying to survive each day—hoping for one kind word, one peaceful night, one moment of affection. But what I got was more neglect, more control, more emotional emptiness.

I remember one day looking in the mirror and asking, “Who are you?”

Not in a poetic way. I truly didn’t recognize myself.

I was tired. Not just physically, but tired in my bones, in my soul. I would cry in the bathroom quietly so no one would hear. I would wipe my tears and pretend to be okay. But inside, I was slowly breaking.

The Turning Point: One Small Step

One morning, I woke up and felt nothing. No anger. No sadness. Just emptiness. And for the first time, that scared me more than anything else.

I realized I had two choices:

1. Continue living like a ghost in my own life.
2. Or try—just try—to take one small step toward myself.

That day, I didn’t do anything big. I just went out for a walk. Alone. No phone. No pressure. Just me and the wind. And something shifted.

It didn’t heal me. It didn’t fix everything. But it was a beginning. The beginning of choosing me, even in the smallest ways.

Slow Healing: Choosing Me Again and Again

Healing didn’t come like a movie scene with dramatic music and tears. It came in the quietest ways—through morning walks, listening to music that made me cry and then made me smile, cooking for myself instead of just others, and talking to the friends I had once pushed away.

Some days, I felt strong. Other days, I felt like I was falling apart again. But I kept going. I started writing down things I was grateful for, even if it was just, “I got out of bed today,” or “The sky looked pretty.” Slowly, I started to feel again. Not just pain, but also peace.

One of the most powerful things I did was say this out loud:

“I matter. My feelings matter. My life matters.”

Even if I didn’t fully believe it at the time, I said it anyway. And eventually, something inside me started to believe it.

Learning to Love Myself Again

For years, I had begged for love from someone who had no love to give. I thought if I changed myself, they would finally see my worth. But the truth is, the only person who truly needed to see my worth… was me.

I began doing things I used to love—watching old movies, going for long drives, singing while cooking, taking care of my skin, and wearing what I liked. Not for anyone else, but for me.

I started creating boundaries—not walls to shut people out, but doors with locks. I realized that not everyone deserves access to my heart, my time, or my energy. That was new for me. And freeing.

I didn’t become confident overnight. But with every step, I felt lighter. Braver. Stronger.

Who Am I Now

Today, I am not the same woman who once cried herself to sleep begging for attention.

I am a woman who chooses peace over chaos.

Who says no without guilt?

Who listens to her body, her heart, and her soul?

I still feel things deeply. I still get emotional. But now, I see that as a strength, not a weakness.

I am proud of my softness, my sensitivity, and my ability to survive what should have broken me.

A Message to Anyone Who Feels Lost Right Now

If you’re reading this and you feel like you’re in a dark place—like you’ve forgotten who you are—I want you to know that you are not alone. I’ve been there. And I promise, there is a way out.

It doesn’t have to be a big step. Start small. Take a walk. Say no to something that drains you. Say yes to something that lights you up. Write your pain out. Cry if you need to. And when you’re ready, take another step. Then another.

Your story is not over.

You are not broken—you are becoming.

Becoming someone even stronger, even wiser, even more beautiful than before.

Thank you for reading my story. If it touched you in any way, feel free to share it. Sometimes, the words we need the most are hiding in someone else’s truth. 💛

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The Foundation of Life and Well-being: The Importance of Breathing

 Even though breathing is the most basic activity in life, we rarely give it any thought. It is simple to take for granted since it occurs naturally and without intentional effort. However, have you ever observed how your breathing changes when you take a deep, calm breath as opposed to when you are breathing rapidly during a stressful situation? Beyond the straightforward exchange of oxygen and carbon dioxide, our breathing significantly affects our bodies, thoughts, and emotions.

I can recall a period when I was experiencing a lot of tension and worry. I would frequently catch myself breathing quickly and shallowly, which just made my tension worse. I didn't see a change until I began intentionally practicing deep breathing. In addition to feeling less stressed, I also felt more in control, more present, and even more invigorated all day long. I became aware of the true power of breathing after that event. It's a tool for a better life, not merely a biological requirement.

Breathing affects every aspect of our lives, including our capacity to control our emotions, digest food, and sleep at night. It has a direct impact on our neurological system, determining whether we feel balanced and at ease or stressed and overburdened. However, the majority of us still only use a small portion of our lung capacity when breathing. We unwittingly deny ourselves the full advantages of breathing with awareness and control.

The ability to breathe correctly may change everything. It can help you focus better, reduce blood pressure, manage anxiety, and even increase your physical stamina. The significance of breathwork has long been stressed by several ancient traditions, such as yoga and meditation, and contemporary research is now verifying its numerous advantages. By becoming aware of our breath and practicing efficient breathing exercises, we may enhance our well-being in ways we never would have thought possible.

The Science of Breathing

Fundamentally, breathing keeps us alive by eliminating carbon dioxide from our bodies and delivering oxygen to our cells. Oxygen enters our lungs during inhalation and travels to our organs and tissues via circulation. In exchange, when we exhale, carbon dioxide—a waste product of cellular metabolism—is released. Although this mechanism is necessary for life, its impacts extend beyond mere survival.

The neurological system and breathing are closely related. Breathing slowly and deeply activates the parasympathetic nerve system, which is in charge of rest and recuperation. Rapid, shallow breathing, on the other hand, sets up the sympathetic nervous system, which sets off the body's fight-or-flight reaction. This reaction is essential because it equips us to act swiftly in real-time threat situations. But in daily life, when stress turns into a chronic condition, being in this elevated state can result in anxiety, hypertension, digestive problems, and even a compromised immune system.

I used to get a lot of headaches and tense muscles, especially when I was under stress. I thought that was just a typical reaction to a hectic life. However, I saw a noticeable improvement once I began doing deep breathing exercises daily. My muscles felt more relaxed, and I had fewer headaches. I became aware of how much my bad breathing patterns were causing me bodily suffering at that point.

Another crucial technique for mental clarity is breathing. Have you ever observed that when you're stressed or overwhelmed, it's difficult to think clearly? We often take shallow, quick breaths while under stress, which lowers the quantity of oxygen that reaches the brain. Foggy thinking, poor decision-making, and elevated terror can result from this. Conversely, breathing slowly and deliberately increases the amount of oxygen that reaches the brain, which improves our ability to think clearly and maintain composure under pressure.

Breathing is about thriving, not simply about surviving. We can take charge of our health in ways that contemporary science is only now starting to comprehend when we learn to use the power of our breath.

The Connection Between Breathing and Stress

Although stress is an inevitable aspect of life, how we handle it may have a significant impact on our well-being. One of the most neglected yet most efficient methods to handle stress is through mindful breathing. Our autonomic nerve system, which regulates automatic body processes like digestion, heart rate, and stress response, is directly impacted by our breathing patterns.

Stress causes our breathing to naturally become fast and shallow. This occurs as a result of our body going into "fight-or-flight" mode, a survival strategy meant to get us ready for an emergency. Although our predecessors needed to respond swiftly to predators in the wild, our contemporary stressors—work deadlines, financial strains, and relationship difficulties—don't demand the same degree of bodily reaction. Our bodies still respond as though they do, though.

I used to experience crippling tension, especially during hectic workdays. When I felt nervous, I would unconsciously hold my breath or take shallow, quick breaths. I became even more nervous, angry, and occasionally even dizzy as a result of this. I didn't realize how much influence I truly had over my stress levels until I began to pay attention to my breath. I was able to reduce my pulse rate, relax my thoughts, and feel in control of my emotions just by taking deep, steady breaths.

The parasympathetic nervous system, which is triggered by deep breathing, inhibits the stress reaction. For this reason, breath control is emphasized in techniques like mindfulness, yoga, and meditation. The brain receives messages that it is safe to rest when we take deep, purposeful breaths. As a result, stress chemicals like cortisol and adrenaline are released less often.

A lot of individuals are unaware of how strong their breath can be. If you have ever experienced a panic attack, you are aware of how frightening it can be when your breathing becomes uncontrollable. The good news is that humans have conscious control over breathing, one of the few involuntary body activities. We can teach our bodies to manage stress better by using certain breathing exercises, which will benefit our mental and physical well-being.

Before crucial meetings or tense interactions, I personally discovered that deep breathing exercises helped me stay composed. I would take a few deep breaths before, and it made a huge difference, rather than allowing tension to take over. I felt more in control of my emotions, my answers were more measured, and my thoughts were more coherent.

In addition to influencing stress levels, breathing is essential for healthy digestion, blood pressure control, sleep quality, and emotional equilibrium. Learning how to breathe correctly gives us a strong tool that we can utilize to enhance our health and well-being at any time and from any location.

The Benefits of Deep Breathing

Gaining proficiency in deep breathing may have a significant effect on one's physical and emotional well-being. Deep breathing makes use of the diaphragm, which permits the lungs to expand completely, in contrast to shallow breathing, which mainly uses the chest and restricts oxygen intake. There are several advantages to this straightforward but effective change in breathing mechanics.

A boost in energy was one of the first things I noticed once I began regularly practicing deep breathing. In the past, I had trouble focusing and frequently felt lethargic in the afternoons. However, I noticed a discernible increase in my alertness and endurance once I developed the practice of setting aside a short period for deep breathing exercises. My body seems to have been aching for additional oxygen, and once I gave it what it needed, everything worked better.

Detoxification is another important advantage. Carbon dioxide and other waste gases are not completely expelled when we breathe shallowly, even though our bodies normally remove poisons through respiration. By ensuring that more pollutants are expelled, deep breathing promotes general health. I eventually concluded that my regular headaches were probably caused by my inadequate breathing. The headaches significantly decreased in frequency as I began implementing deep breathing into my everyday regimen.

Additionally, deep breathing has a significant impact on heart health. According to studies, deep, regulated breathing can reduce blood pressure by lowering the heart rate and relaxing blood arteries. I once advised a buddy who suffered from high blood pressure as a result of ongoing stress to practice deep breathing techniques. Following a few weeks of practice, they observed a notable increase in their general level of well-being as well as in their blood pressure readings.

In addition to its physical advantages, deep breathing is revolutionary for emotional stability and mental clarity. Our brains sometimes rush when we're nervous or agitated, which makes it hard to concentrate or make logical judgments. However, by taking deliberate, steady breaths, we activate the area of the brain that handles reasoning, which keeps us collected and at ease. I find that deep breathing always makes me feel more composed and confident, thus I personally employ it before public speaking or high-pressure situations.

Its effect on digestion is one advantage that many people fail to notice. The digestive tract can be severely impacted by stress, leading to bloating, acid reflux, and other discomforts. Deep breathing facilitates improved digestion by increasing blood flow to the stomach and intestines because it triggers the parasympathetic nervous system, sometimes known as the "rest and digest" condition. I used to have stomach problems when I was under a lot of stress, but those problems much improved once I discovered how to employ breathwork to manage stress.

Breathing Techniques for Better Health

Even while slow, deep breathing and awareness of your breath are helpful, some organized breathing exercises can intensify these benefits. I've tried a lot of various methods, and each has advantages of its own.

Diaphragmatic breathing, also referred to as belly breathing, is one of the best techniques. By resting one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen, you may use this method to take a deep breath through your nose, making sure that just your belly rises and not your chest. This technique helps lower tension and teaches the body to breathe more effectively. This was very helpful to me in managing my anxiety since it gave me a quick sensation of calm and grounding.

Box breathing is another method I frequently do in stressful situations. Athletes and military people employ this technique, which consists of four counts of inhalation, four counts of holding the breath, four counts of exhalation, four counts of resting, and then four counts of repetition. It works wonders for rapidly lowering tension and regaining attention. Before interviews or any other circumstance that calls for a composed, steady demeanor, I personally use this strategy.

Alternate nostril breathing is a great choice for people who want to balance their energies and encourage relaxation. This entails shutting one nostril while taking a breath through the other, then exhaling through the opposite nose. It is a well-liked yoga method that has been demonstrated to improve focus and foster equilibrium. When I need to relax in the evenings, I use this, and it always makes me feel more at ease.

A straightforward yet effective addition to your daily regimen is breathwork. The advantages are indisputable, regardless of whether you include mindful breathing into yoga or meditation, apply a particular technique before a stressful event, or set aside five minutes each morning to practice deep breathing.

Transform your Life Through Better Breathing

Although we breathe constantly throughout our lives, not everyone takes use of its full potential. We may enhance our mental clarity, develop a deeper feeling of inner calm, and improve our physical health by being more conscious of our breath and developing better breathing practices.

I had no idea how much of a difference it would make when I first began to pay attention to my breathing. It's now a crucial component of my self-care regimen, which aids in stress management, energy maintenance, and general well-being maintenance. I urge you to begin focusing on your breathing today if you haven't already. Conscious breathing, even for a short while, may have a profound impact.

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Cultivating an Elegant Mind: The Art of Graceful Thinking

 Developing an exquisite mind is a rare and priceless endeavor in a society that demands our attention all the time, where distractions are inexhaustible and impulsive reactions are commonplace. Clarity, refinement, and depth in our thought processes, communication, and life navigation are all components of an exquisite mind, which goes beyond intellect. It is an elegant and perceptive intellect that can critically digest information while remaining composed and wise in all dealings.

I've frequently discovered that our thoughts influence not just what we do but also the environment we live in. I observed a change in how I interacted with others as I began to be more conscious of my thought process—thinking things through before acting, taking into account other viewpoints, and looking for meaningful discussions. Decisions became more deliberate, discussions more interesting, and even my emotional reactions more controlled. It takes time to develop such a mindset. It calls for deliberate effort, self-awareness, and a readiness to keep learning and improving. Here are some tips for starting the process of developing an elegant mind.

1. Embrace Deep Thinking

An exquisite intellect thrives on depth and reflection rather than being hurried or reactive. Deep thought has kind of vanished in today's fast-paced digital environment, where quick judgments are sometimes confused with wisdom. An elegant thinker overcomes the temptation to make snap decisions based on news or feelings. Rather, they take the time to consider other viewpoints, absorb information, and reach well-informed and deliberate decisions.

Intentional reflection is one of the greatest strategies I've found for this. I always make it a point to sit with a complicated topic for a time, whether it's a philosophical challenge, a societal issue, or even a personal dilemma. I put my ideas in writing, consider other viewpoints, and confront my own prejudices. I've been able to develop intellectual humility as a result of realizing that my initial impression isn't always the best one.

The first step in cultivating deeper thought is to permit oneself to be quiet. Journaling, meditation, and even something as easy as going for a distraction-free stroll might be beneficial. Try reading in-depth articles, reading literature that questions your perspective, or having discussions with others who have different opinions than you rather than aimlessly browsing social media. Similar to a muscle, the depth of thinking gets sharper with practice.

2. Master the Art of Communication

The significance of a sophisticated intellect depends on how well it can communicate. Even if you have the most deep ideas, their impact is lessened if you are unable to express them elegantly and precisely. Clarity, accuracy, and composure are key components of elegant communication, not fancy words or an air of intelligence.

Personally, I've discovered that my self-expression affects both how I feel about myself and how other people see me. I feel more secure and in control of my expression when I take the time to carefully communicate my views without using filler words or superfluous complications. I've come to understand that the most effective communicators are those who can break down complex concepts into easily understood language.

Actively participating in meaningful discussions is one approach to improving your communication abilities. Practice listening carefully, replying purposefully, and using words that effectively and concisely express your ideas rather than merely speaking to be heard. Reading literature may also assist you in internalizing sophisticated linguistic patterns, particularly well-written speeches, essays, and classic works. Your capacity to communicate with elegance may be greatly enhanced by public speaking, debate, and simply practicing how you phrase your ideas in casual conversations.

Furthermore, nonverbal communication is very important. Your body language, tone of voice, and even your ability to pause when necessary may all increase the impact of what you say. You will inevitably get more respect and interact with others more deeply when you improve your ability to speak clearly and elegantly.

3. Cultivate Emotional Intelligence

Without emotional intelligence, an elegant intellect is lacking, even if critical thinking and expressive communication are essential. What really distinguishes sophisticated thinkers is their capacity to comprehend, control, and react to emotions—both their own and those of others. An exquisite mind responds to stimuli with grace and mature emotion processing rather than impulsively.

I used to have trouble responding too fast, especially in situations involving confrontation or criticism. However, I've discovered throughout the years that emotional elegance is the capacity to pause, evaluate, and select a reaction that is in line with knowledge rather than instinct. Self-awareness—knowing my triggers, identifying when my emotions are taking over, and deliberately choosing how I want to react—is the greatest method I've discovered to develop this.

The technique of stopping before reacting is one of the most straightforward but effective habits I've developed. Before reacting, I give myself a few seconds to examine my feelings, whether they be exhilaration, rage, or irritation. This modest gesture has improved my relationships, prevented needless arguments, and allowed me to handle challenging situations with poise.

Empathy, or the capacity to see past one's own feelings and comprehend those of others, is another aspect of emotional intelligence. An elegant mind is characterized by the capacity to genuinely listen, validate the feelings of others, and react with kindness rather than defensiveness. This is expressing feelings in a way that promotes understanding and connection rather than repressing them.

4. Expand Your Knowledge and Curiosity

A mind that never stops learning is considered elegant. It lives on curiosity and is always looking to learn new things for the richness it provides to life, not simply the content itself. Your thinking grows more sophisticated and complex as you gain knowledge, which enables you to have more in-depth discussions and view the world from a wider perspective.

Moving from passive learning—consumption of bits of information here and there—to intentional learning was one of the most significant changes I went through in my personal development. I began reading extensively about philosophy, psychology, and even areas that were outside of my comfort zone, like history and art. As I studied more, I saw how everything seemed to be connected—ancient philosophical ideas had practical applications, scientific advancements altered my view of human nature, and literature expanded my comprehension of emotions and narrative.

Developing intellectual curiosity helps you sharpen your mind, but expanding your knowledge does not need you to be an expert in everything. Read broadly in the fields of history, culture studies, current science, and classic literature. Learn from a variety of sources, including books, movies, and in-depth conversations with individuals who have a range of experiences. Never stop asking yourself "Why?" and have an open mind when challenging your own beliefs. Connecting concepts from other disciplines allows you to think in a unique and complex way, elevating your intellect to the level of true elegance.

5. Practice Minimalism in Thinking

An elegant mind is free of clutter, and there is a certain beauty in simplicity. Some of the greatest minds in history were able to condense enormous volumes of information into profoundly basic truths, despite the common misconception that intellect equates with complexity. A sophisticated mind can prioritize crucial information, eliminate distractions, and think methodically.

I used to suffer from overthinking, which involved continually assessing every circumstance, worrying about pointless minutiae, and clogging my head with thoughts. But I've discovered that clarity is the key to elegant thinking. I began keeping a regular notebook to help me order my thoughts and stop worrying about little things. I also started to be pickier about the material I took in, emphasizing quality over quantity.

Decluttering your thoughts is the first step in developing mental clarity. Reduce your exposure to information overload since mindless entertainment, social networking, and never-ending news cycles can provide more noise. Engage with concepts that add value instead. Simplify the decision by identifying the main concerns. What's important? You may keep your mind calm and elegant by journaling, practicing disciplined thought, and establishing clear priorities.

6. Develop a Sense of Grace and Composure

Chaos does not feed a beautiful mind. Even under trying circumstances, it maintains its composure, poise, and steadiness. This does not imply repressing feelings, but rather approaching problems coolly and collectedly. Deep inner strength is demonstrated by grace under duress.

In difficult situations, I used to become easily agitated and let my frustration control how I reacted. But as time has gone on, I've come to understand that true elegance is about maintaining your composure in the face of adversity. I began being more conscious, responding more slowly, and concentrating on solutions rather than feelings.

Be patient if you wish to cultivate this trait. Take a deep breath, stand back, and reevaluate before reacting to stress or confrontation. Reactive emotions and needless drama should be avoided. Whether it's through deep breathing, meditation, or just waiting before action, learn to love quiet. In addition to improving your mental clarity, being able to remain composed under pressure makes you someone that other people respect and admire.

7. Refine Your Aesthetic and Cultural Awareness

Thinking elegantly involves more than just using reason and logic; it also involves enjoying culture, art, and beauty. A sophisticated mind appreciates the nuances of life and finds meaning in art, music, literature, and even self-expression.

I've always thought that engaging in many creative endeavors broadens your perspective. Engaging with artistic expression broadens your horizons, whether it is through learning various cultural traditions, listening to classical music, or reading poetry. I've found that my own ideas become more sophisticated when I pause to enjoy a well-written book or consider a stunning painting. It seems as though beauty itself influences my thoughts and how I view the world.

To develop this awareness, you don't have to be an artist. Your mind can be expanded just by exposing yourself to other kinds of expression, such as reading thought-provoking books, going to museums, and hearing symphonies. A sophisticated thinker finds inspiration in life's small details and sees significance in areas that others might miss.

8. Lead with Wisdom and Integrity

In the end, having an exquisite mind is about character, not merely education, knowledge, or poise. Honesty, integrity, and intelligence are the hallmarks of true refinement. When moral clarity is combined with brilliance, it produces a presence that is both respected and revered. However, a bright mind without an ethical foundation can be manipulative or self-serving.

One of the most important things I've learned is that wisdom involves more than just making the right decisions; it also involves understanding when to talk, when to listen, and when to be quiet. Integrity entails prioritizing the truth over self-interest, treating people with kindness without expecting anything in return, and sticking to your principles even when doing so is inconvenient.

Be wise in your leadership if you wish to develop sophisticated thinking. Make choices based on what is right, not just what will benefit you. Be kind and honest at the same time. Make an effort to be someone whose words, deeds, and thoughts are in harmony with a greater sense of purpose.

Thoughtful elegance is something you develop, one deliberate step at a time, rather than something you are born with.

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8 ways to stay calm in difficult times

 Despite our best efforts to prepare, obstacles always seem to find us since life is full of unexpected turns. These difficulties can occasionally be minor, such as handling a demanding workday or failing to meet a crucial deadline. At other times, they are too much to handle—health issues, financial hardships, personal losses, or world problems that make us feel insecure. It seems hard to remain composed at these times. It is hard to think clearly or make logical judgments when the mind is racing, the pulse is pounding, and emotions take control. I am all too familiar with this.

I've experienced my share of stressful situations where I felt trapped in a loop of overanalyzing and couldn't concentrate on anything but the current issue. However, I've seen by experience that although stress is unavoidable, how we respond to it matters much. Maintaining composure does not mean denying issues or acting as though nothing is wrong. It's about focusing on the here and now, taking charge of what you can, and developing the ability to think clearly when faced with obstacles. These are some useful techniques that I've found work well for maintaining composure when life seems too much to handle.

1. Practice Deep Breathing

My breathing changes when I'm under stress, and that's one of the first things I notice. It gets hurried and superficial, which exacerbates my anxiety. When we are under stress, our bodies naturally go into "fight or flight" mode. The good news is that by intentionally altering our breathing patterns, we can reverse this reaction. The parasympathetic nervous system is triggered by deep breathing, which aids in the body's relaxation and equilibrium.

The 4-7-8 breathing method is one that I employ, and I can attest to its efficacy. When I'm feeling overburdened, I stop and perform the following:

• For four seconds, I inhaled deeply through my nose until my lungs were full.
• Let the oxygen flow through my body by holding my breath for seven seconds.
• Release all of the stress I've been holding in by exhaling slowly and completely from my lips for eight seconds.

After going through this cycle a few times, I feel notably more at ease in a matter of minutes. Box breathing, which involves taking a four-second breath, holding it for four seconds, letting it out for four seconds, and then repeating the process, is another easy method that is quite effective.

I've recommended these techniques to friends and family, and they've also found them to be quite helpful, particularly in times of stress or annoyance. The best thing about deep breathing is that you can do it anywhere: at work, before a crucial meeting, during a heated argument, or even while you're laying in bed and your mind won't stop racing.

I've also found that deep breathing works better when combined with calming music or natural noises. When I practice, I occasionally listen to soothing ocean waves or gentle instrumental music, which helps me relax even more. I strongly suggest giving this a try if you haven't already.

2. Focus on What You Can Control

The fact that worrying about things I can't control merely saps my energy is one of the most difficult lessons I've ever had to master. Sometimes, whether it was other people's behavior, unanticipated unpleasant news, or future uncertainty, I became fixated on circumstances over which I had no control. However, my sense of helplessness and anxiety increased as I became more obsessed with these things.

I found that changing my perspective to concentrate on the things I could control helped. Rather than becoming overwhelmed by worries about outside circumstances, I began to question myself:

• What can I do at this moment?
• How do I adjust to this circumstance?
• Where can I use my energy most effectively right now?

For instance, during a particularly trying moment at work, I concentrated on what I could accomplish, such as better organizing my tasks, enhancing my time management, and creating modest, attainable objectives, rather than stressing about decisions that were beyond my control. Instead of feeling stuck in a stressful cycle, this small change gave me a sense of empowerment.

I've also found that writing things down has been really beneficial. Every time I feel overburdened, I take out a notepad and write down everything that's on my mind. I then review the list and mark everything that is out of my control. My attention is focused on what I can do about the remaining issues. My mental clarity and tranquility have greatly increased as a result of this exercise.

I urge you to give this strategy a try if you're currently coping with a difficult situation. Take a minute to identify what you can and cannot manage rather than allowing concern to overtake you. When you let go of things that aren't required, you'll be shocked at how much lighter you feel.

3. Engage in Physical Activity

The impact that exercise has on our mental health is astounding. Exercise is one of the finest natural stress relievers available, yet I used to undervalue the link between physical activity and stress reduction.

I always make it a point to move, even if it's only for a little stroll if I'm feeling stressed, nervous, or overwhelmed. Something about being outside, taking in the fresh air, and sensing my body moving helps me feel more rooted right away.

I find that different types of exercise are effective in various contexts. I take a quick stroll or jog if I need to decompress and think things out. I find that a high-intensity workout helps me let go of any pent-up tension or irritability. Yoga is my go-to on days when I simply want something relaxing because it helps me relax and re-establish a connection with my body via stretching, breathing exercises, and completing positions.

Additionally, I make it a point to include little motions in my day, particularly when I'm stressed or busy. My mood is much improved by even small activities like dancing to my favorite music, stretching for a few minutes, or performing a few jumping jacks.

I strongly advise you to attempt adding physical activity to your daily routine if you're feeling overburdened. Find something that makes you feel alive and good for you instead of spending hours at the gym.

4. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Getting sucked into a mental tornado is one of the most difficult things I've encountered when managing stress. I find it hard to concentrate on the here and now since my mind is constantly racing with "what ifs" and worst-case situations. For me, that's where meditation and mindfulness have changed my life.

The practice of mindfulness involves paying close attention to one's thoughts, feelings, and environment while avoiding passing judgment. It teaches you to calm down, accept your feelings, and distance yourself from stressful situations. I found it difficult to sit still and concentrate when I first attempted mindfulness, but I eventually discovered that it doesn't have to be difficult.

I use mindfulness in my everyday life in the following ways:

• Morning meditation: I take five to ten minutes to sit in a peaceful spot, close my eyes, and concentrate on my breathing before I begin my day. I simply watch my thoughts without getting carried away; I don't strive to suppress them.
• Mindful activities: I occasionally try to be attentive when performing basic duties like washing dishes, having a shower, or even just drinking tea. I really immerse myself in the experience by concentrating on the sensations—the warmth of the water, the scent of my tea, the sounds surrounding me.
• Gratitude journaling: Keeping a gratitude diary has assisted me in changing my perspective from what's wrong with my life to what I still have. I write down three things for which I am thankful every day. It's a minor habit, yet it has a significant impact on how I view difficulties.

I utilize the "5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique," one of my favorite mindfulness exercises, anytime I start to feel anxious. This is how it works:

• Name 5 things you can see.
• Name 4 things you can touch.
• Name 3 things you can hear.
• Name 2 things you can smell.
• Name 1 thing you can taste.

This practice pauses my nervous thoughts and swiftly brings me back to the present. Try it if you're ever feeling overwhelmed—I swear it helps!

5. Limit Exposure to Negative News

I used to read through the news first thing in the morning because I believed it was crucial to be informed. However, I quickly discovered that an excessive amount of bad news was depressing me and keeping me on edge all the time. Being informed of global events is important, but too much exposure to negative news can exacerbate worry and despair.

I've since created better news habits that enlighten me without being overbearing:

• Setting time limits: I schedule a definite period, generally once in the morning and once in the evening, to catch up on the news rather than monitor it throughout the day. This keeps me from being caught up in a never-ending doomscrolling loop.
• Selecting reliable sources: I steer clear of sensationalized news and only trust sites that emphasize facts over scare tactics.
• Balancing news with positive content: I always look for positive items in addition to any depressing headlines I come across, whether they are humorous videos that make me laugh inspirational news, or personal development articles.

If viewing or reading the news causes you to feel nervous, think about reducing your intake. It just means safeguarding your mental well-being so that you can comprehend knowledge without feeling exhausted; it doesn't imply denying the truth.

6. Connect with Loved Ones

6. Communicate with Those You Love

I have occasionally attempted to manage stress on my own since I felt that I didn't want to bother other people with my issues. However, I've discovered that relying on loved ones in trying times is a sign of strength rather than weakness.

I feel lighter whenever I connect with a friend or relative, even only for a little conversation. My mental health may improve just by sharing a joke, talking about what's on my mind, or hearing someone say, "I understand."

In times of extreme stress, I make it a point to:

• Call or video chat with someone I trust.
• Meet up with a friend for coffee or a walk.
• Send a quick text just to check in and connect.

Don't isolate yourself if you're going through a terrible time. You have folks that want to help you and care about you. A little discussion with an understanding person can have a profound impact.

7. Establish a Healthy Routine

One thing I've observed is that my schedule tends to break down when things become hectic. I neglect to take breaks, skip exercises, eat badly, and get less sleep, all of which exacerbate stress. I've thus made it a point to establish a daily schedule that helps me stay grounded, even under trying circumstances.

Here are some things that support my ability to stay balanced:

• Prioritizing sleep: Every night, I try to get seven to nine hours of sleep. I avoid using electronics just before bed and maintain a regular bedtime since getting too little sleep makes everything feel more daunting.
• Eating healthy foods: When I'm under stress, I aim to eat meals that provide my body energy instead of turning to junk food. My energy levels noticeably change when I eat balanced meals and drink adequate water.
• Taking breaks: I remind myself that productivity isn't about working continuously, but about working wisely. I do this by stretching, going outdoors for some fresh air, or just stopping to breathe.

Start modestly if stress has disrupted your routine. Concentrate on one habit at a time, such as getting better sleep, eating more nutrient-dense meals, or scheduling downtime. Little, regular acts can have a significant effect.

8. Practice Self-Compassion

Perhaps the most significant thing I've learned is to treat oneself with kindness.

When things don't go as planned, we may be very hard on ourselves. I used to criticize myself for experiencing anxiety or for not managing stress "perfectly," but I eventually concluded that doing so just made matters worse.

Rather than berating myself, I now engage in self-compassion by:

• Addressing myself in the same manner as I would a friend. I would never tell a buddy they were "failing" or "not good enough" if they were having difficulties. Why would I say it to myself, then?
• Stress is natural, I remind myself. Everybody has bad days. Being overwhelmed is a sign of my humanity, not weakness.
• Letting myself take breaks. I no longer endure fatigue to satisfy irrational demands. Additionally, rest is productive.

Please remember to treat yourself with kindness if you're going through a difficult moment. It's sufficient that you're trying your best.

We will always face difficulties in life, but how we handle them will determine how things turn out. Maintaining composure requires learning to deal with stress in a patient, resilient, and self-careful manner rather than trying to escape it.

I urge you to attempt at least one of these techniques if you ever feel overburdened. Determine what suits you the most, then include it in your regular schedule. You'll develop the capacity to handle difficulties with composure and a clear head with time and practice.

You're capable. 💙

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Subtle Signs of Low Self-Esteem: 10 Behaviors You Might Not Realize You’re Doing

 Self-esteem is a complex concept. Until you stand back and truly examine your actions, you may not even be aware of how much it influences your relationships, decisions, and mental health. I used to believe I had a respectable level of self-esteem, but as time went on, I began to see little patterns that revealed a different picture—things I did without realizing it that revealed a deeper problem with self-worth.

You may be suffering from low self-esteem without even recognizing it if you've ever felt like you're always doubting yourself, downplaying your accomplishments, or finding it difficult to say no. These are eleven indicators that I have personally encountered, along with my insights on how to overcome them.

1. Apologizing Excessively

I used to say "sorry" all the time for things that didn't even need an apology, which was excessive. asking a question, bumping into someone, spending too long to respond to a text, or simply being there. People began pointing it up since it had become so commonplace: "Why are you apologizing? There was nothing wrong." I then saw that I wasn't only being kind; rather, I was terrified of causing trouble.

How I'm Trying: I now make an effort to stop myself before I apologize needlessly. I remark, "Thanks for your patience," rather than, "Sorry for the delay." Changing the way I speak has made me feel more comfortable in social situations.

2. Avoiding Compliments or Downplaying Achievements

I tended to dismiss compliments whenever they were given to me. "Oh, it didn't matter," or "I was fortunate." I was unable to accept that I truly merited the praise. I realized that this was a result of my inability to see my own value—I felt unworthy of being praised.

How I'm Working on It: I now try hard to just say "Thank you." No backtracking, no defending—just admitting that my work is worthy of praise.

3. Seeking Constant Validation from Others

I used to be completely preoccupied with gaining other people's acceptance. I required confirmation that I was doing the right things, that I was loved, and that I was competent. I depended on outside approval to feel good about myself, whether it was by continuously asking people, "Do you think I did okay?" or by looking at how many likes I received on social media.

How I'm Approaching It: I start by attempting to affirm myself. I record little victories in my diary, and rather than looking to other people for validation, I remind myself of my own accomplishments.

4. Overthinking and Second-Guessing Decisions

For me, making decisions used to be a nightmare. Even the tiniest decisions, like selecting a restaurant, sending a text, or deciding what to dress, would cause me great distress. I was always worried that I would make a poor decision or that others would think poorly of me.

How I'm Working on It: To gain confidence, I made rapid, modest, low-risk decisions. If I choose the "wrong" eatery? Not a huge deal. I tell myself that I don't have to overanalyze everything and that perfection isn't required.

5. Avoiding Challenges or New Opportunities

I have long let my fear of failing to keep me from taking risks. I wouldn't even bother when I saw an opportunity because I would instantly think, "I'm not good enough for this." The worst thing? This kind of thinking caused me to lose out on a lot of experiences.

My current approach is to reinterpret failure as a learning opportunity. I question myself, "What if I learn something new?" rather than, "What if I fail?" I have been able to take more chances by pushing myself, even if only a little.

6. Difficulty Setting Boundaries

When I was younger, I said yes to everything. even when I didn't want to or was too tired or stressed. I put a lot of effort into attempting to please everyone since I didn't want to offend anyone. The outcome? Resentment, burnout, and a sense of being taken advantage of.

How I'm Getting Better: I now remind myself that saying no isn't impolite; rather, it's essential. "I'd love to help, but I don't have the capacity right now," is a phrase I've learned to use. Since I no longer feel overburdened, setting boundaries has actually strengthened my relationships.

7. Negative Self-Talk

I was terrible at talking to myself. In my mind, I would say things like "You're so stupid," "You'll never succeed," and "You're not good enough" that I would never say to a buddy. It wasn't until I began to pay attention to these ideas that I realized how much they were impacting my confidence.

How I'm Approaching It: I currently engage in self-compassion exercises. I pause and rethink my thoughts when I notice that they are negative. I remark, "I'm still learning," rather than, "I'm terrible at this." My feelings have significantly changed as a result of altering the way I speak to myself.

8. Comparing Yourself to Others

For me, social media made this behavior worse. I used to feel like I wasn't measuring up as I scrolled through pictures of people accomplishing goals, looking stunning, and leading ideal lives. The reality? I was contrasting my behind-the-scenes footage with the highlight reel of another person.

How I'm Approaching It: I remind myself that people only post their greatest experiences on social media, so I try to spend less time there. I concentrate on my own path and development rather than evaluating myself against others.

9. Being Overly Critical of Others

It wasn't until I gave it some thought that I realized this one was related to low self-esteem. I occasionally caught myself passing judgment on other people when I was insecure. It wasn’t because I actually disliked them—it was because I was projecting my own insecurities.

How I'm Dealing with It: Now, whenever I feel the need to pass judgment, I question myself, Am I feeling uncomfortable about myself or am I genuinely angry with them? Changing my viewpoint has made me more understanding of myself and other people.

10. Struggling to Accept Help

I used to believe that seeking assistance was a sign of weakness or incapacity. Even when I was having trouble, I wanted to manage everything by myself. But denying assistance just made matters more difficult.

How I'm Trying: I tell myself that asking for help doesn't make me weak; rather, it shows that I'm a person. I now make an effort to say "Thank you" rather than "I got it" when I obviously don't, whether it's for career guidance, emotional support, or simply someone holding the door open.

Why It's Important to Address Low Self-Esteem

It wasn't until I began to pay attention that I realized how much my life was being impacted by poor self-esteem. It affected my happiness, my relationships, and my choices. However, things improved when I recognized these tendencies and began to work on altering them.

Practical Steps That Have Helped Me Boost My Self-Esteem:

• Engage in self-compassion: Speaking to yourself as you would a friend.
• Establish Achievable Goals: Start with minor victories and work your way up.
• Surround Yourself with Positivity: Be in the company of positive individuals who encourage and support you.
• Take Part in Activities You Enjoy: Having fun increases your sense of value.
• Seek Professional Assistance: For me, therapy has been a game-changer in comprehending and conquering issues related to self-esteem.

You're not alone if you can identify with any of these symptoms. The good news? You may develop self-esteem over time; it is not a set quality. Be patient with yourself, start small, and never forget that you are worthy just the way you are. ❤️

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Understanding Nighttime Awakenings: How Many Times Is Normal By Age?

 I've struggled with waking up in the middle of the night for years, and I know I'm not the only one. I roll over and immediately go back asleep on some nights, without noticing. There are other times when I simply stare at the ceiling, wondering why I can't sleep through the night like I used to. In actuality, waking up during the night is common, but the frequency of these awakenings varies depending on several factors, such as age, stress, and even the food we eat before bed.

I wanted to explore the prevalence of nighttime awakenings at various ages and the potential warning signs. I've learned how crucial it is to know what is and isn't typical after overcoming my own sleep issues.

Why Do We Wake Up at Night?

It's not always a bad thing to wake up at night. Deep sleep, light sleep, and REM sleep are all phases of sleep that our bodies go through. These cycles run around 90 to 120 minutes, and at the end of each one, it’s usual to experience a brief waking. Most of the time, we don’t recall these times.

Stress is a big factor for me. I find that I wake up more frequently and have a harder time falling back asleep if I have a lot on my mind, whether it's deadlines, personal concerns, or even just random thoughts. I’ve also discovered that my sleep is disturbed when my room is too warm, or if I take coffee too late in the day.

How Many Times Is Normal to Wake Up at Night by Age?

Infants and Toddlers (0–3 Years)

Normal Frequency: 3–5 times per night.

Babies wake up more often than adults because their sleep cycles are shorter—about 50 to 60 minutes. Other factors include general pain, teething, and hunger.

What to Watch For: A baby may be experiencing colic, teething pain, or sleep regression if they have problems falling back asleep or crying a lot.

I remember my sister spending the entire night with my niece when she was a newborn. I became aware of the amount of work required to put a baby to sleep as a result. Now, I completely understand new parents' exhaustion anytime I hear them express it.

Preschoolers and Young Children (4–10 Years)

Normal Frequency: 1–2 times per night.

Children begin to sleep more like adults at this age, but sleep disturbances like nightmares, bedwetting, or irregular bedtime habits can still occur.

What to Watch for: It may be worthwhile to investigate potential sleep problems, anxiety, or even conditions like sleep apnea if a kid wakes up a lot and appears excessively exhausted throughout the day.

My cousin suffered night terrors when he was around six years old, and I used to watch him. He woke up screaming, which was awful, but the following day he wouldn't even recall it. I learned from seeing him go through it that children's sleep problems can differ greatly from adults.

Teenagers (11–18 Years)

Normal Frequency: 0–1 times per night.

Teens' circadian rhythms are impacted by significant hormonal changes, which makes them desire to sleep in and stay up late. Periodic awakenings can also be caused by stress, screen time, and bad sleeping habits.

What to Look for: It could be time to change a teen's sleep patterns or get professional help if their mood, academic performance, or general energy levels are negatively impacted by their sleep disturbances.

As a teenager, I had a lot of trouble sleeping, especially when it came time for exams. I would study late into the night and then wake up at odd hours, utterly restless. At the time, I didn’t know how much screen time before bed was making things worse. I try to be more aware of that now.

Adults (19–64 Years)

Normal Frequency: 1–2 times per night.

Most individuals have short awakenings in between sleep cycles. Alcohol, coffee, stress, and discomfort from an inappropriate sleeping environment can all be factors.

What to Look Out For: If you wake up a lot to go to the bathroom (nocturia) or feel tired even after sleeping through the night, it may indicate an underlying illness such as sleep apnea, insomnia, or restless legs syndrome.

I find that here is where I struggle the most. I sometimes wake up several times during the night, either because I had coffee too late in the evening or because my mind was racing. Additionally, I've discovered that I'm more likely to wake up if I go to bed feeling very full or hungry.

Older Adults (65+ Years)

Normal Frequency: 2–3 times per night.

Sleep is lighter and more erratic as we get older. More frequent awakenings might result from a combination of medical disorders, drugs, and decreased melatonin synthesis.

What to Look Out for: It can be worthwhile to consult a physician if severe daytime drowsiness or a notable deterioration in the quality of sleep arises.

My grandpa used to gripe about waking up at three in the morning and finding it difficult to get back to sleep. After doing some research, he discovered that some of his medications were interfering with his sleep, which he had previously assumed was a natural part of growing older. Small tweaks, like altering when he took his medicines, made a significant effect.

Factors That Influence Nighttime Awakenings

No matter your age, several factors might influence how frequently you wake up at night:

• Stress and Anxiety: If I’m stressed, I’m nearly likely to wake up at night.
• Diet and Hydration: I have trouble sleeping when I eat just before bed or drink coffee late in the day.
• Sleep Environment: An excessive amount of light or noise, or even an improperly heated room, might cause issues.
• Medical Conditions: Hormonal imbalances, acid reflux, sleep apnea, and chronic pain can all interfere with sleep.
• Medications: Some medicines interfere with sleep quality.

When Should You Be Concerned?

It's natural to wake up sometimes, but if you have trouble falling back asleep or feel tired during the day, it might be an issue. Among the warning signs are:

• Feeling exhausted all the time even after sleeping for seven or nine hours.
• Loud snoring or gasping when you wake up—these might be symptoms of sleep apnea.
• Mood fluctuations, irritation, or trouble focusing as a result of little sleep.

It's advisable to consult a physician or sleep expert if any of these seem familiar.

Tips to Improve Your Sleep

I've tried a lot of things over the years to help me sleep better, and these have been the most successful:

• Maintain a Routine: It makes a big difference to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.
• Establish a Sleep-Friendly Environment: Blackout curtains were a huge improvement for me.
• Limit Screen Time: This is still a work in progress for me, but decreasing screen time before bed really helps.
• Watch What You Eat and Drink: I'm giving up large meals and late-night coffee.
• Use Relaxation Techniques: I find that writing, gentle stretching, and deep breathing all help me decompress.

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5 Simple Morning Habits of Genuinely Happy People

 Happiness frequently results from the little, regular routines we follow every day rather than only from impressive feats or significant occasions. For really joyful people, the mornings offer an opportunity to cultivate their well-being via focused activities that set the tone for the day. I am a person who is always happy with small things, who doesn't fall for big happiness. if someone gives me a flower, I will be happy. I will never expect gold. The following five little morning routines can help people develop happiness and optimism in their lives:

1. Starting with Gratitude

Happy people begin their mornings by focusing on what they’re grateful for. This could be as simple as appreciating a good night’s sleep, a loved one, or the opportunity to experience a new day. Studies have shown that gratitude can rewire the brain to focus on positivity, improving mental health and emotional resilience. Writing down three things they’re grateful for or reflecting on them during a quiet moment can make a significant difference in their mood and outlook.

I prefer to start each day by listing three things for which I am thankful in my journal. This easy routine creates a good vibe for the remainder of the day.

"Mindfulness is the conscious, balanced acceptance of the present experience," as a well-known person once stated. That is the extent of its complexity. It involves accepting the current moment as it is, whether it is nice or painful, without holding on to or rejecting it.

2. Prioritizing Hydration

A simple yet effective habit I’ve incorporated into my morning routine is drinking two glasses of water right after waking up. It helps support my brain function, boosts my energy levels, and rehydrates my body after hours of sleep. I’ve found that this small action has a big impact on my day. For me, staying physically healthy is crucial for maintaining emotional stability, and starting the day with water ensures that both my body and mind are ready to face whatever comes my way.

3. Moving Your Body

For me, scheduling physical activity in the morning has become an essential part of my routine. I prefer taking a 30-minute walk to start my day. It’s not just a way to get my body moving, but it also helps me feel energized and ready to take on the day. Walking in the morning releases endorphins—those "feel-good" chemicals—that help boost my mood and reduce stress. I’ve noticed that this small habit makes a big difference in how I approach my day. It sharpens my focus and lifts my spirits, making it easier to maintain a positive outlook. Even if it’s just a short walk, it has a significant impact on my happiness and overall well-being.

4. Spending Time in Silence

Before the hustle and bustle of the day begins, I always make sure to wake up early in the morning, giving myself some quiet time to set the tone for the day. I don’t prefer turning on the lights and instead keep the environment calm and peaceful. This simple act of creating a serene space allows me to engage in practices like deep breathing or silent introspection. I find that taking even just a few minutes to sit quietly and focus on my breathing helps me become more attentive and present. It’s a great way to reduce any early worries or stress. This time of calmness helps me find mental clarity, enabling me to handle the day with a peaceful mind and a positive attitude. By setting aside this time each morning, I feel more centered, and it influences how I approach my interactions throughout the day.

5. Setting Intentions for the Day

Instead of diving straight into the to-do list, I’ve found it helpful to take a moment each morning to set my intentions for the day. I like to write down my top priorities, which helps me focus on what truly matters. This time allows me to decide how I want to approach the day—whether it's focusing on a personal goal, tackling challenges with patience, or choosing to spread kindness. By setting these intentions, I not only give my day direction but also make sure that I’m staying aligned with my values. It helps me maintain a positive attitude, no matter what comes my way. I’ve realized that it’s not about packing my day with tasks, but about making thoughtful decisions that reflect my beliefs and objectives, while still leaving room for spontaneity and relaxation.

The Power of Tiny Habits

The simplicity of my morning routines is something I truly appreciate. These small yet impactful habits don't require a lot of time or effort, but their effect on my mental and emotional health is significant. By starting the day with practices like drinking water, a peaceful walk, or setting positive intentions, I’ve noticed that it helps me feel grounded and ready to face whatever the day holds. It's incredible how something so simple can have such a lasting influence on my mindset, increasing my resilience and ability to handle stress. The best part is that these routines don’t feel like a burden or an added task—they feel like an essential, natural part of my day. I’ve found that incorporating these practices into my morning helps me begin each day with a sense of calm, clarity, and purpose, setting a positive tone that carries me through the rest of the day. Thanks to this routine, I’m always on time and punctual, which makes me feel more organized and in control. It’s a beautiful reminder that even the simplest habits can create lasting happiness, emotional balance, and a more structured life.

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The Complex Relationship Between Dissociation and Narcissism: Understanding the Connection

 Living with someone who constantly dismisses your emotions, controls your life, and blames you for everything can leave a deep and invisible scar. For many people—especially those in relationships with narcissistic partners—this trauma doesn’t always show up as obvious pain. Instead, it quietly creeps into the mind through dissociation, a state where your brain tries to protect you by emotionally "shutting down." You might feel numb, detached, or as though you're watching life happen from outside your body.

This article explores the complex link between dissociation and narcissism—not only in victims of abuse but also in narcissists themselves. Through my personal journey in a 32-year-long marriage with a man I believe has narcissistic personality traits, I want to help others understand how these patterns work and how to begin healing.

What is Dissociation?

Dissociation is the mind’s survival mechanism. It’s what happens when the emotional pain becomes too much to process, so the brain creates distance from it. You might find yourself emotionally numb, forgetful, disconnected from your body, or going through your daily life on "auto-pilot." For trauma survivors, especially those living in emotionally or physically abusive environments, dissociation becomes a way of coping.

In my case, I didn’t even know the term dissociation existed. I just knew that I was emotionally absent many times, especially after being shouted at, slapped, or blamed for something that wasn’t my fault. I would go silent, not because I didn’t have anything to say, but because I had nothing left inside me. I was emotionally exhausted.

What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is more than just being self-centered. At its core, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental condition where a person has an inflated sense of importance, a deep need for attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind the arrogance often lies a fragile self-esteem that's easily wounded by even the smallest criticism.

There are many forms of narcissism—from the charming, confident, and manipulative type to the more covert kind who plays the victim and guilt-trips others. In my husband’s case, it wasn’t always loud or dramatic. Sometimes, he would act like a victim when things didn’t go his way. Other times, he would completely ignore me, act like I didn’t exist, or accuse me of being responsible for everything that went wrong—even his own failures.

How Dissociation Happens in Victims of Narcissistic Abuse

Living with a narcissist often feels like living in a warzone where the bombs are made of silence, insults, or sudden outbursts. Over time, your body and brain learn to disconnect to survive.

In my marriage, the abuse began very early. Just a month or two after our arranged marriage, a simple disagreement about going out ended with my husband slapping me—something I had never experienced before, not even from my parents. I was in shock. Slowly, these incidents repeated, followed by silence, emotional withdrawal, or superficial gifts like food or clothes, but never a genuine apology.

To survive, I emotionally "checked out." I stopped reacting, stopped crying in front of him, and eventually even stopped hoping. This was dissociation—my body was there, but my soul had learned to hide.

I lived like this for years, believing I was the one at fault. I used to wonder, “Did I really say something wrong? Was it my mistake?” It took me almost two decades to understand that I was not wrong—I was being manipulated and blamed to protect his ego.

Can Narcissists Dissociate Too?

Interestingly, narcissists themselves may also use a form of dissociation. While victims dissociate to survive pain, narcissists may emotionally detach to avoid shame, guilt, or vulnerability. They build a “false self”—a version of themselves that is always right, perfect, or superior. They ignore anything that makes them feel weak or exposed.

In my experience, my husband never wanted to admit being wrong. If he failed at something, it was always someone else’s fault—mine, the kids’, or even fate. But if something went right, it was always his success. This emotional disconnect from reality is a defense mechanism. It helps him protect his fragile ego by dissociating from his own failures.

Why the Connection Is So Difficult to Recognize

One of the hardest parts about living in a narcissistic relationship is not realizing how deeply it's affecting you. The abuse is often not obvious. It comes in cycles—good days followed by bad ones, kind gestures followed by silence or violence. This confusion keeps you trapped.

Dissociation makes it even harder to see the truth. You begin to live in a fog where you can’t trust your own thoughts. You stop feeling things deeply. You doubt your own memory. You may even start to believe that you’re the toxic one.

In my case, I spent years crying, questioning myself, and trying to fix everything. I lost confidence in my decisions, feared upsetting my husband, and even forgot how to recognize my own emotions. It wasn’t until my daughter, who loves studying psychology, told me, “Mama, he is a narcissist,” that I began researching. Everything suddenly made sense.

The Emotional Toll of Living in Dissociation

Over time, dissociation can affect every part of your life—your emotions, your physical health, your relationships, and your ability to make decisions. You begin to feel like a stranger in your own body. You smile in front of others while your heart quietly breaks inside. You stop recognizing the person in the mirror.

For me, the emotional damage didn’t show up only as sadness—it showed up as anxiety, irritability, and fatigue. I would cry alone, and sometimes I would even take out my frustration on my children. But every time I did, I felt guilty afterward and questioned myself. Why am I doing this? I realized it wasn’t me—it was the weight of years of silent emotional trauma that I was carrying inside.

How to Begin Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Dissociation

Healing begins when you allow yourself to see the truth—and when you stop blaming yourself for someone else’s emotional damage. For me, that moment came when I physically moved away from my husband to another city for work. Even though I still talked to him because of his illness, the emotional distance gave me space to breathe, think, and finally feel again.

Some of the things that helped me heal were:

• Spirituality – My faith gave me strength when nothing else did. Prayers became my safe space.
• Silence and Reflection – I stopped arguing and started listening to my inner self.
• Self-love – I began doing things that made me happy. I opened a coffee shop, took care of my health, and spent quality time with my children.
• Support from my daughter – Her words were the first light that guided me out of the darkness.

How to Protect Yourself Emotionally

When you live with or deal with a narcissist—even if you're no longer in the same home—you must learn to protect your emotional space. Here’s how I do it now:

• Limit emotional engagement: I no longer try to fix him or expect love in return. I send a message sometimes, not because I expect a reply, but because I choose to be kind.
• Set emotional boundaries: I no longer take the blame for things I didn’t do. I gently remind myself, “It was never your fault.”
• Create a safe space: My home now feels peaceful. I don’t allow chaos or confusion anymore.
• Affirm your truth: When doubt creeps in, I remind myself of what I’ve survived. My pain was real. My story matters.

Beyond Narcissism: Other Disorders That Affect Emotional Health

While narcissism has a strong connection to emotional abuse, it can sometimes exist alongside other conditions. Some narcissists may also suffer from:

• Antisocial Personality Disorder – where they lack empathy and manipulate others without guilt.
• Borderline Personality Disorder – which may cause emotional instability, fear of abandonment, and intense relationships.
• Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Traits – where control and perfection become tools to dominate or criticize others.

It’s important to remember that not all difficult partners are narcissists, and not all narcissists are evil. But when their behavior starts destroying your emotional peace, you need to choose yourself.

A New Chapter: Choosing Peace Over Pain

I don’t live with my husband anymore. I chose peace, not because I wanted to punish him, but because I couldn’t survive in that emotional prison any longer. After 32 years, I realized that waiting for him to change was costing me my joy, my health, and my identity.

And yet, I don’t carry hate in my heart. When I left, he asked me not to remove his name from my surname. He told me, for the first time in his life, “I’m sorry for hurting you.” That was the only apology I ever got—but I didn’t leave for the apology. I left for my own survival.

From Survival to Strength

If you're reading this and wondering whether you are in a narcissistic relationship, trust your gut. If you feel invisible, blamed, emotionally exhausted, or always walking on eggshells, something is not right. And you don’t have to wait 30 years to understand that.

Dissociation is not weakness. It’s your mind’s way of saving you. But healing begins when you come back to yourself. When you stop surviving, and start living.

You are allowed to choose peace. You are allowed to protect your soul. And you are allowed to love yourself—even if no one else ever truly did.

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10 Practical Steps to Cultivate Lasting Internal Happiness

 In a world filled with external pressures and constant demands, finding internal happiness can seem like a daunting task. However, happiness doesn’t always stem from material possessions or external circumstances. Instead, true and lasting happiness is often an internal state cultivated through intentional practices and habits. Below are ten simple yet effective ways to achieve internal happiness, supported by psychological insights and practical advice.

1. Practice Gratitude Daily

Gratitude is one of the most powerful tools for achieving internal happiness. When you focus on what you have rather than what you lack, your perspective shifts from scarcity to abundance. Start a gratitude journal, listing three things you are thankful for every day. Research has shown that practicing gratitude can improve mental well-being, enhance relationships, and even boost physical health.

2. Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is essential for internal happiness. Self-care includes maintaining a balanced diet, getting regular exercise, and ensuring adequate sleep. It also means setting boundaries, saying no when necessary, and dedicating time to activities that bring you joy. A healthy body supports a healthy mind, laying the foundation for sustained happiness.

3. Engage in Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness is the practice of staying present in the moment without judgment. Regular mindfulness exercises or meditation sessions can reduce stress, enhance self-awareness, and foster a sense of inner peace. Start small with five to ten minutes of daily meditation or incorporate mindfulness into everyday tasks, like eating or walking. Over time, this practice can help you appreciate the present and let go of worries about the past or future.

4. Foster Meaningful Relationships

Humans are inherently social beings, and meaningful connections are vital for happiness. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who uplift and encourage you. Invest time in building and maintaining relationships with family, friends, or community members. Acts of kindness, active listening, and genuine engagement with others not only strengthen bonds but also create feelings of fulfillment.

5. Find Purpose and Meaning

Having a sense of purpose can significantly enhance internal happiness. Purpose gives your life direction and motivates you to pursue your goals. Reflect on what brings you joy, aligns with your values, and contributes to the greater good. Whether it’s your career, hobbies, or volunteering, finding purpose fosters a deep sense of satisfaction and self-worth.

6. Limit Comparisons and Embrace Your Unique Journey

Constantly comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. Instead, focus on your personal growth and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and comparing yourself to others only undermines your happiness. Practice self-compassion and appreciate your individuality.

7. Cultivate Optimism

Optimism is the ability to see challenges as opportunities for growth and to focus on the positive aspects of life. Cultivating optimism doesn’t mean ignoring difficulties; it means acknowledging them while believing in your ability to overcome them. Techniques like reframing negative thoughts, focusing on solutions, and celebrating small wins can help you develop a more positive outlook.

8. Engage in Activities You Love

Hobbies and creative outlets play a crucial role in enhancing internal happiness. Engaging in activities you’re passionate about not only brings joy but also helps you unwind and reduce stress. Whether it’s painting, gardening, dancing, or reading, dedicating time to your passions recharges your energy and nurtures your soul.

9. Practice Forgiveness

Holding onto grudges and resentment can weigh heavily on your mental and emotional well-being. Forgiveness is a powerful act of letting go, allowing you to move forward without the burden of negativity. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning harmful behavior; it means releasing its hold on your happiness. By forgiving others—and yourself—you create space for healing and peace.

10. Embrace Life’s Imperfections

Perfectionism often leads to stress and dissatisfaction. Accepting that life is imperfect and unpredictable is a key component of internal happiness. Embrace your flaws and imperfections as part of your unique humanity. By focusing on progress rather than perfection, you can enjoy life’s journey and celebrate the beauty in its imperfections.

The Psychological Perspective on Internal Happiness

Psychologists emphasize that happiness is a combination of genetics, circumstances, and intentional activities. While some factors are beyond our control, our habits and mindset play a significant role in shaping our happiness. Practices like gratitude, mindfulness, and fostering relationships can rewire the brain to focus on positive experiences, creating a lasting sense of well-being.

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