The Art of Forgiveness: How It Can Benefit Your Wellbeing

 Forgiveness is not just a kind act toward others—it is one of the kindest gifts we can give ourselves. It doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the pain someone caused. It means choosing freedom over bitterness, healing over holding on, and peace over punishment. When we learn the art of forgiveness, we begin to feel lighter, stronger, and more connected to our own well-being. It becomes a way to protect our inner peace, even when the world around us is far from perfect.

Finding Light in Darkness Through Forgiveness

There were moments in my life when the pain felt too heavy to carry. As a child, I was often ignored, left to wonder why I wasn’t seen or heard. That pain quietly settled into my heart. Later in life, after marriage, I experienced something even deeper—emotional neglect from my in-laws and physical abuse from my husband. It would have been easy to stay broken, to keep asking “why me?” and cry endlessly over the life I didn’t deserve.

But instead of drowning in the pain, I kept choosing to forgive. Every time I was hurt, I would whisper to myself, “It’s okay, next time will be better.” I wasn’t forgiving because it was easy. I forgave because I needed to survive. I needed peace more than I needed revenge. And now, with time and healing, I finally live a peaceful life where I am happy, in control, and free.

When Holding On to Anger Steals Your Peace

There was a time in my life when I swore to myself that I would never forgive my husband. The pain was too deep, the betrayal too much to bear. I decided to emotionally distance myself, to shut off that part of me that had once cared so much. I thought that by holding onto this anger, I would somehow protect myself, shield my heart from further hurt. But in reality, I was only hurting myself. Every time I remembered the pain, the emotional wounds reopened. The anger consumed me, whispering in my thoughts, clouding my judgment. It seeped into my mood, my energy, and even my physical body—affecting my sleep, my peace of mind, and my strength. It became like a silent poison, slowly draining my spirit.

The more I clung to my anger, the more it consumed my life. I was letting the past dictate my present and, in doing so, I was robbing myself of joy and peace. One day, I had to face the truth: holding on to this anger was not protecting me; it was destroying me from within. I realized I couldn’t change what had happened, but I could change how it affected me going forward. So, I chose to let go. Letting go didn’t mean forgetting, nor did it mean excusing the hurt. It simply meant I wasn’t going to let the pain control me anymore.

Once I chose to forgive, something beautiful began to unfold. It wasn’t immediate, and it didn’t happen all at once, but gradually, everything started to feel lighter. The weight I had been carrying for so long began to lift—not just from the outside, but from the inside too. It was as if I was finally breathing again, free from the emotional chains I had unknowingly wrapped around myself. For the first time in a long time, I started to feel whole again. I realized that I could live a life of peace, not despite my past, but because I had learned how to release it.

The Calm After Letting Go

Letting go of pain is not just a mental or emotional act; it’s a complete shift in how we experience the world. When I finally decided to release the anger I had been carrying, the change wasn’t just in my thoughts—it also began to heal my heart and body. Holding on to anger had made my body tense, my mind restless, and my spirit weary. But once I let go, I felt a strange, but incredibly welcome, sense of calm. It was as if the weight had been lifted off my chest, and I could finally breathe freely again. I also noticed something else—guilt. A guilt that had silently lived within me, because I had failed to acknowledge my own imperfections and mistakes.

It wasn’t just about forgiving my husband; it was about forgiving myself for the things I had done, the choices I had made, and the times I let my anger get the better of me. I realized that we’re all human, all imperfect in our own ways. By staying angry, I had become as much a prisoner as the one I was angry at. Once I made peace with this, I understood that my journey wasn’t about judgment—it was about letting go of the need to punish, to stay stuck in the past.

Now, no matter what is happening around me, whether life is busy or moments are calm, I can hold onto that peace. It’s not dependent on circumstances or the actions of others. It’s something I gave myself. Peace, I realized, is not something that is given to you by others. It’s a gift you give to yourself when you finally decide that your own well-being matters more than holding onto past hurt.

Wellbeing Begins with Forgiveness

Life, much like food, can quickly become monotonous if we keep consuming the same thing over and over. If you eat the same meal every day, you’ll eventually lose your appetite for it, and your enjoyment will diminish. It’s the same with our emotions. If we hold onto pain, anger, and guilt, we’re only feeding ourselves negativity. Over time, that negativity can consume us, and our ability to enjoy life diminishes. But when we choose to forgive—when we decide to release that burden—we make room for something much better: joy, peace, and healing.

Forgiveness isn’t about pretending nothing happened. It’s about understanding that holding onto the past, holding onto the anger, is only holding us back. We choose to forgive not for the other person’s sake, but for our own. By forgiving others—and ourselves—we take back control of our lives. We stop letting the past dictate how we live in the present. We free ourselves to experience joy, growth, and new possibilities.

I’ve learned that true peace doesn’t come from the absence of pain or mistakes. It comes from the decision to let go of them, to stop letting them weigh us down. Forgiveness is a choice—a decision to protect your heart, to heal, and to move forward with strength and grace. When we forgive, we don’t erase the past; we simply choose to no longer allow it to hold us hostage. And that is the beginning of true wellbeing.

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Thoughts on Forgiveness: Embracing Healing and Moving Forward

 Forgiveness is a powerful word, but it holds even more powerful meaning in our lives. It’s not always easy, and often not immediate. It’s a quiet, personal journey that doesn’t always involve loud apologies or dramatic reunions. Sometimes, forgiveness is whispered in the heart. Other times, it’s given even when the pain still lingers. We forgive not because the other person always deserves it, but because we deserve peace.

The Silent Struggles Behind Forgiveness

We often get hurt by the people we love the most. Sometimes, the pain is so deep that it feels impossible to move past. Yet, there are other moments when even big disappointments become easier to accept. The truth is, it doesn’t always depend on what the other person did—it depends on our expectations. That’s why something small can hurt more than something big, and why sometimes we can forgive easily, and other times, we hold on to the pain for years.

There is a chain that connects our ability to forgive, forget, and heal. If we can’t forgive, we can’t forget. If we can’t forget, we can’t heal. And if we can’t heal, we keep suffering in silence. Carrying anger in our hearts only keeps reopening the wound. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is like medicine. It doesn’t erase the past, but it permits our hearts to rest.

I am someone who often forgets things easily—whether it’s small arguments or moments when I should’ve stayed distant from someone who hurt me. I go back to acting normal, even when I shouldn’t. It’s just my nature. But even though I forgive quickly, there are still some memories from childhood, teenage years, and young adulthood that remain in my heart. Especially those moments when friends walked away over silly mistakes, leaving a painful mark behind.

But healing is important. And healing requires us to forget. And to forget, we must first forgive. It’s all connected.

Forgiving Others, and Being Forgiven

I’ve had to forgive many people in my life—more times than I can count. And not just strangers or distant people, but those closest to my heart. I believe that life is too short to stay angry or distant from the people we love. One of the most important examples in my life is forgiving my own parents. As a middle child, I often felt ignored. I carried that feeling for a long time. But I also know they gave me a life many people only dream of. They gave me love in their own way, and for that, I forgave. And today, I love and respect them deeply.

There was also a time when I needed forgiveness. I once argued with my father—a rare thing for me. I’ve never been the kind to argue with my parents, but one day, I lost control. My father, a calm and patient man, never brought it up again. His silence, his ability to let it go, taught me something valuable about grace. That memory still makes tears fall from my eyes, because I regret hurting him even once. But it also reminds me of the strength of true forgiveness.

Forgiveness Leads to Growth and Freedom

Forgiveness has changed me. Emotionally, it gave me the strength to grow. It allowed me to move on from the past, from pain, from regrets. Today, I’m a successful chef. I chose to study and grow at a stage in life when many people give up. But I didn’t stay stuck in the past. I forgave. I healed. And I moved forward with happiness and confidence.

To me, forgiveness is not just about letting others off the hook. It’s also about forgiving yourself. We all make mistakes. We all have moments we wish we could take back. But holding on to guilt or shame only holds us back from becoming who we’re meant to be. When you forgive yourself, you allow yourself to rise again—to try, to dream, to succeed.

Forgiveness is not weakness. It’s one of the bravest things we can do. It means we’ve decided to stop carrying the burden of bitterness. It means we’ve chosen to live freely, without the chains of the past pulling us down. Whether you’re forgiving someone else or forgiving yourself, remember that you are not doing it for them. You are doing it for you—for your peace, your growth, your joy.

And that is how we embrace healing and move forward.

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