Thoughts on Forgiveness: Embracing Healing and Moving Forward

 Forgiveness is a powerful word, but it holds even more powerful meaning in our lives. It’s not always easy, and often not immediate. It’s a quiet, personal journey that doesn’t always involve loud apologies or dramatic reunions. Sometimes, forgiveness is whispered in the heart. Other times, it’s given even when the pain still lingers. We forgive not because the other person always deserves it, but because we deserve peace.

The Silent Struggles Behind Forgiveness

We often get hurt by the people we love the most. Sometimes, the pain is so deep that it feels impossible to move past. Yet, there are other moments when even big disappointments become easier to accept. The truth is, it doesn’t always depend on what the other person did—it depends on our expectations. That’s why something small can hurt more than something big, and why sometimes we can forgive easily, and other times, we hold on to the pain for years.

There is a chain that connects our ability to forgive, forget, and heal. If we can’t forgive, we can’t forget. If we can’t forget, we can’t heal. And if we can’t heal, we keep suffering in silence. Carrying anger in our hearts only keeps reopening the wound. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is like medicine. It doesn’t erase the past, but it permits our hearts to rest.

I am someone who often forgets things easily—whether it’s small arguments or moments when I should’ve stayed distant from someone who hurt me. I go back to acting normal, even when I shouldn’t. It’s just my nature. But even though I forgive quickly, there are still some memories from childhood, teenage years, and young adulthood that remain in my heart. Especially those moments when friends walked away over silly mistakes, leaving a painful mark behind.

But healing is important. And healing requires us to forget. And to forget, we must first forgive. It’s all connected.

Forgiving Others, and Being Forgiven

I’ve had to forgive many people in my life—more times than I can count. And not just strangers or distant people, but those closest to my heart. I believe that life is too short to stay angry or distant from the people we love. One of the most important examples in my life is forgiving my own parents. As a middle child, I often felt ignored. I carried that feeling for a long time. But I also know they gave me a life many people only dream of. They gave me love in their own way, and for that, I forgave. And today, I love and respect them deeply.

There was also a time when I needed forgiveness. I once argued with my father—a rare thing for me. I’ve never been the kind to argue with my parents, but one day, I lost control. My father, a calm and patient man, never brought it up again. His silence, his ability to let it go, taught me something valuable about grace. That memory still makes tears fall from my eyes, because I regret hurting him even once. But it also reminds me of the strength of true forgiveness.

Forgiveness Leads to Growth and Freedom

Forgiveness has changed me. Emotionally, it gave me the strength to grow. It allowed me to move on from the past, from pain, from regrets. Today, I’m a successful chef. I chose to study and grow at a stage in life when many people give up. But I didn’t stay stuck in the past. I forgave. I healed. And I moved forward with happiness and confidence.

To me, forgiveness is not just about letting others off the hook. It’s also about forgiving yourself. We all make mistakes. We all have moments we wish we could take back. But holding on to guilt or shame only holds us back from becoming who we’re meant to be. When you forgive yourself, you allow yourself to rise again—to try, to dream, to succeed.

Forgiveness is not weakness. It’s one of the bravest things we can do. It means we’ve decided to stop carrying the burden of bitterness. It means we’ve chosen to live freely, without the chains of the past pulling us down. Whether you’re forgiving someone else or forgiving yourself, remember that you are not doing it for them. You are doing it for you—for your peace, your growth, your joy.

And that is how we embrace healing and move forward.

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